Eating out for some people is a real pleasure but in Nick’s opinion it was just a waste of money, so he was glad that the rest of the foursome let him steer them toward a cheap Yugoslav restaurant that he knew of in one of the back streets of Darlinghurst. It had that real proletarian checked table-cloth feeling so appealing to the budget conscious, and the food was really good; authentic..

After midnight Nick staggered out tanked up on rough red and full of raznici and meatballs. Fortunately Sandra was going to drive. She’d spent the evening chatting with her girlfriend while Nick got to know Hubert. They both followed the same football team. Sandra sped while Nick dozed, oblivious to the coolness he was being subjected to.

By 4 am Nick was on the toilet, shivering, with his head in his hands. He was the only one to whom the meatballs had appealed, and wow, was he regretting it. By 4.30 he was back in bed after squirting out everything he had ever eaten. His guts felt like the Jenolan Caves in the off-season and his head like an underwater drum machine; but at least Sandra had gone back to sleep because instead of sympathising with him she had made some smart remark about it serving him right for being a tightwad with no class who had embarrassed her in front of her friends. She’d said that she didn’t know why she had ever married him! And then he dropped a silent fart which went straight up his nose. Sandra rolled over just the right way to let him know exactly how disgusted she was. Nick went back to sleep in a cloud of vapor and self-loathing.

About 7.30 Sandra nudged Nick and told him to wake up and hurry up.

“I’m not going to work today, I’m drained.” said Nick.

“Oh, come on you lazy slug! And get your stinking body away from me! At least drive me to work then so you can run a few errands.”

Nick lay in bed looking at the reflection of Sandra’s big arse in the mirror as she pulled on her pantyhose, “I shouldn’t stand for it. Why didn’t I stay with Julie? She couldn’t have turned out to be such a heartless bitch. She was always so cheerful understanding and loyal. We could talk about anything; our dreams, our fears; she made no judgements, she didn’t put me down. Our love was straightforward, simple, she loved me for myself and pledged to love no other. But what does it mean that I took off with Sandra, it seemed like such a good idea at the time; I must have been mad!”

“Get out of bed Nick! I’ve only got twenty minutes to be at work. One of us has to bring in some money!”

Nick restrained himself. They did have a mortgage, and there were the car paymentsand the cards. As a matter of fact they were up to their ears in debt.

How different it would have been with Jules. They had the crazy idea of buying a van and traveling around Australia. He was imagining them walking together, naked, holding hands on a long empty beach. Oh!, where is she now?” he thought.

“Lookout stupid! Just because you’ve got a hangover doesn’t mean you can kill us!”

“Yes Dear.” he said to himself.

At last they were outside the building. He would soon be free from her for eight hours but first he had to wait there in the Loading Zone while she went up to the office for her cheque book. The heater was on and he felt insulated from the wintry city scene outside. He let go a big fart, grateful for the marginal improvement in his stomach condition. Phew! It was rank. He made himself feel ill again and decided to unwind his window, but as he grabbed the knob he looked out at the street and there was Dreamsville Julie, with her friend, crossing the road, coming toward him. She looked amazing, just as bright and slim as ever and her face was beaming; obviously overjoyed to see him.

Nick was ecstatic for a moment, and then flabbergasted. The fart had filled the warm interior of the car as though it was an extension of his tortured bowels. His mouth dropped open and he flicked the lock down on the door.

Julie’s face was barely a breath away from his. He recognized and remembered the corners of her mouth, the dimple, the sweet smile which was taking seconds to fade from childlike pleasure to utter confusion.

White palms and slender fingers were against the glass like a tourist at an aquarium, she just didn’t understand, Nick was in igony, his head swam as Julie was led away by her friend.

"Oh, no ,..no.” and Julie was gone again into the anonymous metropolis, while Nick sat there with the all too tangible memory of cheap meatballs.