The garden within the courtyard was a place of peace and beauty. It gave me time to re-establish my belief in the balance of right and wrong and to savor hope for the struggle between good and evil. A place to observe the continuing evolution from chaos to reason.

In the garden outside the door of my room was a green bush with broad leaves and intriguing violet flowers. When I looked closely at it I noticed a few tiny caterpillars munching away at the younger leaves. The next day there were plenty more and their tiny cylinders of green shit could be seen on the cement path below. What kind of butterflies would they turn out to be?

Day by day they grew fatter but day-by-day the bush became more chewed until I was inclined toward concern for it. Would they eat it bare before reaching the stage of cocoon?

The next morning two new characters appeared on the scene. A pair of chameleons.

Whenever they wished, without moving any more of themselves than any eyeball and tongue, they would pluck a fat little caterpillar away from the hole it had been eating. They soon took care of the problem concerning the survival of the bush, but then I began to be concerned that the hungry reptiles would finish off the caterpillars and retrieve our chance of completing the life cycle.

A few days later I saw only one chameleon but I wasn’t concerned until later in the day when a cat appeared and grabbed the remaining chameleon by the face. It then looked quickly my way as I moved to stop it, but I was too slow of course, and the black exotic was instantly gone among the bushes.

The progression I had been watching was then disrupted. The cat, like the dark voice of doom, the heartless hand of fate, caused for me an uneasiness and feeling of grief that was mildly akin to when a tragedy befalls a happy family.

That night I lay in bed and thought about my future. The morning events had faded. I had realized the relative insignificance of the creatures and how limited my concept of ‘nature’ had been. Sure the cat was foreign in the first analysis but I consoled myself with the thought that first there is a mountain, then there isn’t, then there is; some big thinking to alleviate the anxiety of the disrupted events. The kind of chain that had made me feel secure and part of a larger someway perfect pattern; pre-ordained and planned by a benevolent power.

Two small geckoes ran across the outside of the mosquito wire.

The candlelight from my room illuminated their transparent underbellies showing how much they had eaten. I had seen them before; so cute. The male, or what I supposed was the male, chased the female in quick bursts out of sight and then back onto the screen. I supposed the light was helping to attract the mosquitoes and moths.

Despite the fact that they were reptiles four inches long I could recognize their level, the double meanings, the aggression in desire, the drive, the event unfolding the motion of love, the laws of life, the power of personality in the progression of procreation. The common thread that ties together the organism of animacy.

I felt happy for them, and for myself. The future was a family, a loving place, a small but omniportant pattern in which I would fit. A meaning mutually understood and valued. It was a magical balmy tropical night and I would soon not be alone.

The female plucked a tiny white moth, removed the wings, and ate it. The male was close behind, seeming to be less interested in catching food, but instead of catching her, like black lightning the cat
 appeared on the screen
.

All I heard were the claws gripping the wire and its teeth crushing the little spasming thing. Then it was gone. I was shocked, I felt angry. That fucking cat again! That evil out-of-place thing! What chance is there?

The female didn’t move. She seemed to be as stunned as I was. How quickly things can change! My composure and pleasure had gone and the ramifications spread through my reality like cracks through a pane of glass. How was it possible to have faith in the basic elements of human happiness when there is such disproportionate power to destroy; to abort our plans for peace and prosperity?

And then it returned landing out of the dark as before. With one eye atwinkle and a mechanical twist of the cat’s head in two sharp bites the little lizard was hanging out both sides of the cat’s mouth.

The sounds were like pointed teeth joining between my ears. I jumped up from my bed to take a swipe at the screen, but of course the cat was already gone.

“Is there any hope for mankind?” I yelled out at the blackness of night.