It was a wet morning and Mary woke with an apprehensive feeling which she did her best to ignore. The Pastor had told her to put unpleasant thoughts out of her mind, to simply be aware of Jesus’ love within her heart. So that is what she did.

Mary dressed the children then went to share prayers and the morning meal with her brethren. Their lives had changed so much since Brother Peter had taught them to love Christ.

Two years before, they’d all moved onto the land after years of planning and money saving. At first Mary had lived with her de-facto husband, Roger, their two children, and two new puppies, down by the creek. Each couple who’d contributed toward the cost of the land had started building their own houses or temporary shelters but when they’d accepted to be born-again the logical thing had been to congregate at a central point. That way they could share their labour to build a small chapel and communal living area.

The only problem had been Roger, the childrens’ father. He refused to accept God’s message. He had become quite angry and he’d sworn and abused the others claiming they wanted to destroy his family. He’d been so stubborn in refusing to see the light, so of course she’d had to separate herself from him and remove the children.

Roger seemed to doubt her conviction and continued building what was meant to be the family home. Biding his time. He was so stubborn!

But Mary’s conviction had remained firm, she hadn’t seen Roger for almost a year now. Quite often she heard him hammering during the day or saw the headlights ‘of his car returning from town late. Some people just don’t have the strength to give up their heathen ways.

The next day while working in the vegetable garden Mary felt uneasy again. Her mind had been so clear of late, since she’d completely submitted to her faith in God rather than sharing an unholy alliance with Roger, but the feelings she had reminded her of earthly things nonetheless. Their time together had been good as things stood before her awakening to the teachings of the Bible. In his own way he’d been a good man and loved his children, but, it was his refusal to accept the truth that had driven the wedge firmly between them. And only he could change that.

He’d laughed at them. Couldn’t take them seriously at first when they’d begun meeting at Peter’s caravan, but within a few weeks Roger had become very bitter and there seemed to be no point in trying to open his mind.

Mary broke another piece of kindling across her knee to start a fire, it was a bit thick for her and cracked sharply with a sound that seemed to come from a distance. She stopped and looked toward the old place where she knew Roger would be, denying the obvious, struggling with his sinful life and mocking them for their committment, while they continiued to improve their organization; evermore single-minded and harmonious. The love of the Lord filled their hearts, minds and conversations.

That night Mary lay in her bed, for the first time unable to stop herself from feeling like Vicki. Lust wasn’t part of her life anymore but as she looked up into the dimness of the room for the first time she allowed herself to acknowledge  the affective tenor of the day to day communication amongst her brethren, the two hundred word vocabulary of the believers. She shocked her self by thinking like that, but it didn’t fade, she could hear Brother Peter sending up messages on their behalf. The conceit she realised, to assume an intimate relationship with the ultimate power.

Loyalty had always been an important though unspoken part of their tiny ministry, as devotion was the very core of their worship of God, but suddenly she realised how cruel she’d been to Roger, the person willing to supply her with a very tangible and committed love; despite its impurity. She suddenly realised how unkind she’d been, and wanted to make amends so having dressed and collected a lantern from the kitchen Vicki set off through the moonlight for the half mile walk to their old camp. It was dark and a cold wind blew from the south carrying the barking of dogs with it as she moved nearer.

After fifteen minutes she came into the clearing where they’d first camped and in the moonlight she could see a finished house. It was magnificent.

The dogs were barking louder now, she could hear themr scratching at the inside of the door and then fear rose from it submersion. She wanted it to be regret and nothing more perhaps a chance to make amends and admit that submission was the easy way out. Maybe to tall of reconciliation if he’d forgive her.

She pushed the door and as it opened the smell of dogshit and bad meat shot up her nose as the dogs rushed outside. She almost fainted, but holding the lantern above her shoulder she looked around the archway into the lounge. There was Roger spreadeagled on the floor, a rifle was beside him and the dogs had already chewed off a couple of limbs.